“It’s my party and I’ll cry if I want to / you didn’t show up funny I thought I could trust you… you said you’d be there for me I kind of believed you”
Vocals layered in rich harmonies convey the all too familiar theme of heartbreak in Exxy’s 2022 single cry if i want to. The lyrics are simple but catchy and relatable; whether this song features on a breakup playlist or a party one, listeners are sure to be able to sing along. At the start of the chorus, the lyrics are sung isolated from the previous accompaniment; our ears are filled purely with Exxy’s honest, intimate thoughts as if she is speaking right to us, and the song is all the more captivating for it.
The lyrics create an underlying sadness and sense of rejection, but the other elements contradict this. The introduction features shimmering synths and prominent drums and bass which build up quickly, hinting at hip-hop influences. They drop out at the start of the chorus but pick up again halfway through with added drum fills, vocal studio effects and a more dynamic, descending bass line, creating a sense of optimism and transforming cry if i want to into a tune that would not be out of place at a house party. This is almost certainly a conscious creative decision by Exxy, who directs and edits her own videos. It starts by depicting the aftermath of a party, with balloons, streamers and people strewn everywhere, before flashing back to the previous night with scenes of people dancing, drinking, and having fun. The video alternates between past and present; overhead shots of people laughing combined with pulsating bass transport viewers to the party, while shots of the aftermath make the gloomy lyrics especially easy to emphasise.
Despite its depressing inspiration, cry if i want to is fairly uplifting – whether you came for the relatable lyrics or atmospheric synths, beats, bass and studio effects, it is definitely worth a listen. Every element works to entrance listeners, mentally transport them to the party, and leave them feeling a little more hopeful. An emotionally validating, atmospheric tune – what more could you ask for?